My mom had been dating her boyfriend for about 10 years which is why I refer to him as my stepdad even though they aren’t married yet. He’s became a big part of my life because he watched me grow up and helped my mom raise me. It hasn’t been all that easy for me not growing up with my dad but watching my sisters grow up with their dad. Many times, I felt as if I wasn’t a part of my own family because I just felt like I wasn’t loved the same way as my sisters were. I felt like a burden and frustrated because my mom no longer made time for me like she use to. At that time, I also felt like my mom was the only person I could count on and was afraid I was going to lose her somehow in this family that each day I felt less a part of. I also tried to think about my mom and her feelings and didn’t want to make her feel bad in any way or seem ungrateful for what they both have done for me because they both have been good parents in their own ways and so I just kept everything to myself. After all my mom’s birthday was right around the corner so I wanted her to be as stress free as she could possibly be.
The day before my mom’s birthday my stepdad had mentioned he was going to need my help with a surprise he had for my mom, and I had agreed to help but wasn't sure what the surprise was and didn't think much of it. Every year we get woken up by our family the day of our birthday so around 7am my stepdad woke my sisters who were 3 and 5 years old and I up. I got out of bed with one eye open and the other closed, I was so sleepy. As we walked into their room he played “las mañanitas” which is a traditional song in Spanish that a lot of Hispanics sing to honor a loved one on their birthday. We all begin singing, clapping and dancing along even though my sisters were mostly just making up words when it came to singing, and she starts opening her eyes squinting with a grin on her face. We all just jump on the bed and begin to hug her, and I knew she felt special because her cheeks started getting as red as a tomato. All of us just laid in bed with her for a couple of minutes until it was time for us all to get ready. My parents had work, one of my sisters had preschool and the other stayed with my grandma and I had school.
Then once we were all back home, we started to get ready to go out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants for my mom’s birthday. I then began to wonder when he was going to need my help, because he hadn’t mentioned anything to me yet, but I wasn’t going to ask him either because what if he no longer had a surprise, I didn’t want to make him feel bad. My mom per usual, wanted me to do her hair and makeup so I was rushing getting ready, feeling as if everything was coming out wrong and that mostly only happens when I’m rushing, I hate it. First, my black shirt gets full of the powder I use to set my face, so I change, then the other shirt I’m trying to get out of my closet gets stuck on my door handle as I pulled it off from the hanger, my curls aren’t coming out the right way so I’m just stressing mostly because I hate feeling rushed and hate working under pressure. Once I finished getting ready, I rapidly began to get my mom ready and she’s the most impatient person in the world, so she kept rushing me, but I’ll admit, I did take ages getting ready. By the time I got done getting my mom ready my sisters and stepdad were already waiting in the car because we were all so hungry, we felt as if we could eat everything on the menu.
We finally arrived at the restaurant which is called “La Parrilla Mexican Restaurant” and of course as you can tell by the name, it’s a Mexican restaurant. Stepping foot in there makes me feel like I’m actually in a restaurant that’s in Mexico with the yellowish mustard color to the wall, different light fixtures, colorful paintings around the walls and the music. Once we get seated, they bring us chips and salsa, the salsa truly never misses, it's always so good. We all already knew what we wanted because for the most part we always get the same thing. As we were waiting for our food I noticed my stepdad began to look around looking suspicious or weird, so I thought to myself “maybe he’s bringing the surprise here and that’s what he’s looking around for”. So as soon as my mom leaves to go use the restroom, I was about to ask him what he’s looking for, he then hands me and my sisters a little black box which I knew right away what it was, and my mouth dropped open. My sisters were still very little so he told me to hand it to her because he was going to ask her to marry him. I was in complete shock. I just stayed silent with my mouth open staring at the little black box. A lot of different things and questions started going through my head like was this going to push me further away from them, are they going to continue to include me, does he want to take my mom away from me, etc. I didn't know what to tell him, I didn't know how to react. I just felt like my mind was racing thinking about every little detail and what this would mean for me or my relationship with my mom. I started thinking selfishly and wanted her to say no in that moment but once I let myself process it, I realized I couldn’t be. My mom wasn’t just my mom she was much more than that and deserved to receive all the love given to her and deserved to be a wife. She has been the most selfless person with me and has given up so much for me and I knew she deserved to be happy and so did my stepdad because he is a wonderful guy to all of us. I was thinking all of that in a matter of seconds. I then told my stepdad of course I would be happy to hand it to her.
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| "Wedding Ready" |
I then saw my mom start walking towards our table, I felt my palms begin to get sweaty. I didn't even know how to give it to her or what to say. I looked over at my stepdad and I could tell he was just as nervous if not more nervous. He kept fidgeting, biting his nails, looking around and it seemed as if my mom was walking in slow motion. My mom finally gets to the table and sits down, I look at my stepdad for some sort of confirmation to give it to her and he nods so I hand it to her, and she opens it and her jaw drops, but he isn't saying anything so she asked, "who is this from?" until he finally asks "will you marry me" but in Spanish. He was so nervous that he didn't even get on one knee, but my mom still got really emotional and started crying and eventually said yes with her mascara all runny. I then hugged them both and congratulated them. Then they asked me how I felt about it and I explained to them everything that I had initially felt and thought, and they reassured me in the best way possible that they loved me very much and that I always have been a part of the family and shouldn’t feel otherwise so they were going to try their best to make me feel a part of it from there on out.
Image Credits:
"Wedding Ready" by Ashley Servin
What a lovely multimodal depiction of your moving story, Ashley. Well done.
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